The Cook (2008) - Unrated

Genre(s): Comedy / Horror
Anchor Bay || Unrated - 82 minutes - $26.98 || April 1, 2008
Reviewer: Brian Oliver || Posted On: 2008-04-05


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.:: F I L M ::.
The Film

S P E C I A L
.: F E A T U R E S :.

Special Features

.:: V I D E O ::.
Video

.:: A U D I O ::.
Audio

.:: O V E R A L L ::.
Overall
.::MOVIE INFORMATION::.
Director: Gregg Simon
Writer(s): Nicholas Bonomo, Francisco G. Rodriguez, Dirk Van Fleet (written by)
Cast: Mark Hengst, Kit Paquin, Makinna Ridgway, Penny Drake, Nina Fehren, Noelle Kenney, Brooke Lenzi, Justine Marino, Stefanie Soland, Allen Yates


Theatrical Release Date: NA


.::DVD INFORMATION::.
Supplemental Material:
  • Audio Commentary
  • Behind The Scenes
  • Audtion Footage


Technical Information:
  • Number of Discs: 1
  • Widescreen (2.35)
  • English (Dolby Surround 5.1), English (Dolby Surround 2.0)
  • Subtitles: None

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.::THE FILM::.

IMAGE

“Sorority Babes: The Other White Meat”... I think that says it all, folks.

The Cook is another horror/dark comedy but with a twist: porn. No, it’s not full on porn, but it seemed to want to go in that direction, what else can I say for a movie with a lesbian masturbating in a tub? I am sure some of you out there are saying, “What’s the problem?” The problem is, on any of these levels (horror, comedy, porn); none of it works at all.

The “story” has eight sorority sisters at home while the others in the house go off to Cobo. For the weekend, a cook is hired to make their food, but little do they know the man is a serial killer... and from Hungary (how hilarious, a Hungary cook!). Rather than run down each character’s names, I’ll just list ‘em from the DVD back cover as it illustrates just how unimaginative the writers were: The Slut, The Stone, The Bible Beater, The Dumb Hot Blonde, The Predatory Lesbian, The Tease, The Dominatrix and The Good Girl. One by one, they become the Cook’s latest victim and to add insult to injury, he feeds the others with their remains!

The Cook has a production value ever so slightly above a low-grade adult movie and the acting probably on the same playing field. For sure the ladies are cute bordering on hot, but the story is lame and there’s nothing else to hold on to that makes this even worth watching. I will say Mark Hengst, who plays the Cook, at times actually made me chuckle, though on the flipside, I didn’t really find him that threatening when he goes into killer mode.

This is a dumb movie and at 82-minutes, was far too long. It tries being a hybrid of Saw meets Taboo, but is unsuccessful in both areas. The women are cute and a couple might actually have some acting ability, but in the context of the movie, does that really mean much?



.::SPECIAL FEATURES::.

The DVD contains an audio commentary with executive producer/writer/editor Nicholas Bonomo and actors Mark Hengst, Makinna Ridgway, Kit Paquin, Nina Fehren and Brooke Lenzi. This group commentary is good as the participants seem to be having a good time (better than I was watching the movie first time through) and overall, it probably more entertaining.

There’s also a Behind the Scenes (4:38) featurette which is actually just a camcorder filming behind-the-scenes footage set against some generic rock music. Last is Mark Hengst’s audition footage (2:40).



.::AUDIO & VIDEO::.

IMAGE

The picture is presented in a 2.35 AR and, as I said in my review, is probably a notch above low-class porn. The picture itself seems to be fine, but it’s not exactly fantastic or anything. And the same can be said for the Dolby Surround 5.1 track as well.



.::OVERALL::.

I can’t honestly think of one reason to see this movie. Sure, it has some beautiful girls but you can see better films with beauties as well. The Cook could have been a campy good time but instead was merely mess all around.