|Lions Gate || R - 90 minutes - $26.98 || August 4, 2009|
|Reviewer: Tyler Thomas || Posted On: 2009-08-16|
Writer(s): D.J. Evans (written by)
Cast: Richard Harrington, Jaime Winstone, Louise Delamere
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I donít even want to talk about this film, thatís just how bad it is. I could seriously write (oh wait, I did in one of my last reviews) about how much better it would be to watch gravel dry, count how many DVDís are in my collection, or watch my cat pass out after doing nothing for 23 hours every day. Cravings stars no one youíve heard of, has a pointless plot, and one of the few horror movies I hate with such a passion that talking about it right now is actually hurting my brain and the cells that reside within.
For the sake of attempting to tell you about the film, and how excited I was until I watched it, here is the plot synopsis on the back: Nina (Jaime Winstone), a trouble teen, is fixed on an uninterrupted feast of destruction when sheís forced to confront her immortality and twisted bloodlust. Trapped between light and dark, psychosis and reality, the living and the dead, sheíll stop at nothing to satisfy her CRAVINGS. Every addiction has a price, and usually itís the cost of a life. Her price will be life tooÖ but never her own.
Now darnet, doesnít that sound like a decent flick. YEAH, ITíS NOT. The first forty minutes of the film are absolutely dreadful, as I nearly passed out from them being so boring. Nina is a stale vampire, as all other vampire movies theyíre at least witty or at least somewhat believable that they like to kill people. No quips, nothing. Thereís also other people in the movie, but they donít matter obviously.
Iím sure in 2006 this was a groundbreaking movie, and by groundbreaking, I mean groundbreaking-ly crappy. Even me, the main horror buff around here at the site, canít recommend this for a laugh, as I did more crying from the horrible flick than laughing at its sheer stupidity. Stay far, far, FAR away. Look I CAN TYPE in all CAPS like the BACK OF the cover of the MOVIE.
Other than the usual lame trailer gallery, there is nothing to be found.
.::AUDIO & VIDEO::.
This isnít actually a new release, as the film is several years old, but the video makes it seem like its way older than that. There are massive amounts of grain that plague almost the entire film and also several distortion scenes as well. It actually hurt my eyes to watch some of the dark scenes, as the grain overpowered some of the characters in it. Color levels were also off-kilter, as I struggled to find a few scenes where the characters looked how they did in previous ones.
Similar to the video, the Dolby Digital 5.1 track isnít anything spectacular either. Dialogue levels are low and rather inconsistent, as I struggled to hear some of the dialogue. Thatís not a bad thing, as I think I ended up giving the audio score more points because of that. I donít really remember my surround sound being used at all for this film, as this is mainly a front-channel movie. That being said, this is a horrible audio track.
Unless youíve got a craving for one of the most diluted, craptastic, and horrible horror films to come out on DVD recently, fill your craving elsewhere. Thereís a new Saw film coming out soon, just wait for that.