Donkey Punch (2009) - Unrated

Genre(s): Thriller
Magnolia || Unrated - 99 minutes - $26.98 || April 7, 2009
Reviewer: Tyler Thomas || Posted On: 2009-04-01


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.:: F I L M ::.
The Film

S P E C I A L
.: F E A T U R E S :.

Special Features

.:: V I D E O ::.
Video

.:: A U D I O ::.
Audio

.:: O V E R A L L ::.
Overall
.::MOVIE INFORMATION::.
Director: Oliver Blackburn
Writer(s): Oliver Blackburn & David Bloom (written by)
Cast: Robert Boulter, Sian Breckin, Tom Burke, Nichola Burley, Julian Morris, Jay Taylor


Theatrical Release Date: January 23, 2009


.::DVD INFORMATION::.
Supplemental Material:
  • Feature Commentary
  • 3 Featurettes
  • Deleted Scenes


Technical Information:
  • Number of Discs: 1
  • Widescreen (1.85)
  • English (Dolby Digital 5.1), English (Dolby Digital 2.0)
  • Subtitles: Spanish

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.::THE FILM::.

Alright, every now and then I talk about a formula that movies have to follow. Iíve already done horror films, so Iíll move onto thriller. First off, you need to have a decent story that grips the readerís interest. Thereís probably more, but Iíll just get right into reviewing a movie that had more nudity in it than most of the films Iíve watched this year combined. Donkey Punch is a voyage that should have sunk when it started.

Before I start this review, well I already started it; I need to say something clearly: if the characters in the film are stupider than the plot then the movie shouldnít be made. The cast needs to have at least a smidge of intelligence to be likeable, and they are clearly missing it in this one.

Lisa (Sian Breckin), Tammi (Nichola Burley), and Kim (Jaime Winstone) are vacationing in some location that doesnít matter when they meet up with three people at a bar; Sean (Robert Boulter), Josh (Julian Morris), and Marcus (Jay Taylor). The three men seduce the girls in true movie fashion to get them to come onto their boat and have a drink or two. The girls, being typical movie starlets, decide to go with them thinking it will be a fun time and none of them will die. Oh, how they are wrong.

Upon the group arriving at the boat, they meet Joshís brother Bluey (Tom Burke) and start to party. The girls are given alcohol and the guys also drink, and one of the guys tries to teach one of the girls how to DJ properly. Marcus gets upset at the two, as though they could upset the other captains who are docked around them with the loud noise, so they decide to set sail thinking that nothing bad could happen to them. Oh, how they are wrong.

After arriving in the middle of the ocean, the guys set the anchor down and continue to party to their hearts content. While swimming, the guys joke around and ask the girls if they know what a donkey punch is. I wonít ruin it for you, but itís incredibly stupid and after about this point in the film it just goes way downhill, for multiple reasons. Anyways, Bluey ends up pulling out some cocaine and everyone there smokes it and also takes more illicit drugs that are always smart to take around guys you just met a few hours ago. The next twenty minutes of the film pretty much consist of an orgy scene with tons of nudity (both male *shrug* and female) and one of the females dies because of the donkey punch.

Two of the girls are left on the boat while the guys throw the body overboard, which ticks off the girls to no end. The girls bicker over whatís going on and slowly pick off the guys one by one while trying to escape from the boat. Can they escape from the boat? Is this just a giant excuse to show nudity? Does the ending really make sense? Yes, definitely yes, and no.

The plot of this movie is ridiculous; a girl dies during a sex act which causes nearly the entire group to get killed off as well. What is this, Scream on a boat? Well not really, since the killers are everyone else. This movie just makes no sense at all as the characters act as stupid as possible, well, worse, since I didnít know they could possibly act that incompetent to begin with.



.::SPECIAL FEATURES::.

Feature Commentary: Director and Co-Writer Oliver Blackburn and the producer of the film team-up for this commentary. There isnít a lot of dead air here, but that doesnít mean itís entertaining. I found it to be a bit dreary, although the two do point out several things such as where the movie was shot and points of the plot throughout.

Deleted Scenes (13 minutes): A total of six scenes that didnít make it into the film and as the description points out beforehand, most of them were cut due to pacing reasons. Only two of them are interesting, as the other four donít amount to that much in terms of story.

Making of Donkey Punch (17 minutes): This is your standard making of special feature that chronicles how the movie was made and a few of the scenes. The cast also reflects on the title of the film and their non-experiences with it.

Director Interview (14 minutes): The director discusses the film, how it came to be, and other normal things a director does. Itís a little interesting, but goes on for too long.

Cast Interviews (28 minutes): This feature deals with how the cast came into the film, as well as other details. It includes the major cast mates but the entertainment value for this is really low; the cast isnít that exciting.



.::AUDIO & VIDEO::.

Colors are decent and provide near accuracy for how they should look, although the main problem plagues the film for most of the runtime. The movie has an overall dark tone to it, and some scenes I was barely able to make out who was actually in the scene. Grain is also a bit of an issue during the night time parts of the film as well. I also noticed an odd yellow tone on facial close ups, which I donít think is right either.

The Dolby Digital 5.1 track accompanying the film fares about as well. There are a few inconsistencies with the audio, such as it being rather low, but then in other scenes surround was actively engaged and louder than ten seconds prior. It got to be a pain having to raise and lower the volume every so often. Dialogues are pretty spot on and clear when I could hear it. This isnít a bad track, just one that needed a bit of working to sound a tad better.



.::OVERALL::.

Donkey Punch is just an excuse to show a crap load of nudity in a short amount of time and it borders on the thin line of porn. The story is far out there and not enjoying, but the special features package tacked onto the DVD is decent. The audio and video are about average, which means this is one you need to decide on. This is one punch that in my opinion you may want to duck out of the way of.