It's Alive (2008) - Unrated

Genre(s): Horror
First Look Studios || Unrated - 85 minutes - $24.98 || October 6, 2009
Reviewer: Tyler Thomas || Posted On: 2009-10-05


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.:: F I L M ::.
The Film

S P E C I A L
.: F E A T U R E S :.

Special Features

.:: V I D E O ::.
Video

.:: A U D I O ::.
Audio

.:: O V E R A L L ::.
Overall
.::MOVIE INFORMATION::.
Director: Josef Rusnak
Writer(s): Larry Cohen, Paul Sopocy, James Portolese (screenplay)
Cast: Bijou Philips, James Murray, Raphael Coleman, Ty Glaser


.::DVD INFORMATION::.
Supplemental Material:
    None


Technical Information:
  • Number of Discs: 1
  • Widescreen (2.35)
  • English (Dolby Surround 5.1)
  • Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish

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.::THE FILM::.

Iíve watched like four horror films in the past few days, all in hopes that I would find something that didnít completely suck on every level. Itís not that my tastes are that out of control, as all I want is just a decent horror flick with a few scare moments, some decent kill shots, and a story that keeps me in suspense the entire duration. I canít even get one of those with Itís Alive, I couldnít even get a fourth of one of my goals for this movie, so you should already be able to tell where this review is going already.

Time for my patented ďKill Death Chart.Ē Patent Pending, so stay away.

Story that keeps interest? Nope.

Decent death scenes? Nope.

Jump Moments? Nope.

Intelligent cops? Nope.

Number of people killed by killer baby: 5 humans, 10 animals, and one reviewer.



.::SPECIAL FEATURES::.

Nothing other than a few previews for various other A+ films can be found here.



.::AUDIO & VIDEO::.

I was going to start this video review off praising what the film did right in the transfer category, but I canít seem to find anything. Colors are blatantly off and look abysmal. Contrast is also clearly on the crappy scale, as most scenes appear too dark to see clearly, and even the scenes that should be bright and gorgeous look like utter garbage. The film is set in a nice atmosphere, but you wouldnít be able to tell from this utter disaster of a transfer. Grain is also apparent in most scenes, as is noise and distortion. This transfer is nearly as bad as the film, if thatís possible.

I shouldnít get ahead of myself, as the Dolby Surround 5.1 track is just as awful as both the film and the video transfer. Dialogue is all over the place on this track, as at times its somewhat high and then others way too low. I struggled to hear most of the dialogue throughout the movie, although in all honesty Iím somewhat glad. The scare sequences sound awful as well, as they are too dull to even produce the slightest scare. I know my sub was on throughout the flick, but you probably wouldnít be able to hear anything that produces more than a tiny squeak in the boom category. Oh, thereís surround usage, but itís so lame and little and light and crappy and insert other words here that mean terrible, that itís not really worth talking about.



.::OVERALL::.

You should be ashamed for even thinking about having to read the overall segment on whether or not I recommend a rental, purchase, or running away in terror. Itís the third one, so start running. Itís Alive has taken the crown (so far) for worst film of 2009, so look out other future films that Iíll start reviewing soon enough, youíve got a touch contender to deal with.