The Last Resort (2009)

Genre(s): Horror
Lions Gate || R - 75 minutes - $26.98 || August 11, 2009
Reviewer: Tyler Thomas || Posted On: 2009-08-06


Buy this DVD from Amazon.com!
.:: F I L M ::.
The Film

S P E C I A L
.: F E A T U R E S :.

Special Features

.:: V I D E O ::.
Video

.:: A U D I O ::.
Audio

.:: O V E R A L L ::.
Overall
.::MOVIE INFORMATION::.
Director: Brandon Nutt
Writer(s): Nathaniel Bozen, Nathan Oliver, Martina Papinchak
Cast: America Olivo, Paulie Rojas


.::DVD INFORMATION::.
Supplemental Material:
    None


Technical Information:
  • Number of Discs: 1
  • Widescreen (2.35)
  • English (Dolby Digital 5.1)
  • Subtitles: English, Spanish

Comment on this and other movies on the message board!


.::THE FILM::.

I watched paint dry yesterday. The day before that, I watched grass grow. A week ago I saw a boiling pot boil while I was viewing it for five hours. So HA! I disproved that whole “you can’t watch a boiling pot boil” theory from when I was a kid. Everything I just described was a heck of a lot better than watching the disaster known as The Last Resort.

So like, a group of girls, one of them getting married soon, I didn’t care enough about the film to remember who, decide to go to Mexico to celebrate the marriage. They go to some bar and Sophia (America Olivo) hooks up with some random guy there and sleeps with him . The rest of the group is ticked, and the next morning they go off with a tour guide they just met and get into a van. Now, almost all of this sounds remotely reasonable right? It’s normal to get into a van with people who don’t speak English and are driving you around in a desert for an hour or so. Oh, that’s right, it’s a bad idea, since the “tour guides” decide to shoot one of the girls and then rob them of their cell phones and cash.

Leave it to Sophia to track down the girls, along with her now boyfriend and his stupid friend, since he’s the only one who lives in Mexico who can speak Spanish. They then decide to go into the desert with the help of the “tour guides” to find her friends. I just described for you the first 60 minutes of the film, the last fifteen deals with the girls going psycho in some haunted town and killing one another off. That’s where I’d say “man this was really cool,” or something along those lines. Yeah, not going to happen, sorry.

This has got to be some of the most bottom of the barrel crap in all honesty. There’s literally no action what so ever, the acting is about as stale as a cracker that’s been left outside for a year, and the chicks aren’t even that hot. Why watch a film with five girls running around half-naked if they aren’t remotely attractive? Okay, that’s the guy in me speaking, my bad. But still, why the heck make a movie like this with a crappy cast and a pointless plot? I’m actually really glad this was only seventy-minutes long, or however long it was. I stopped caring about five minutes in when I realized where the flick was going, and then was happy once it ended.

How are movies like this made? Does someone say “hey we got a few million to throw-away, let’s make a short flick about some girls who get possessed or something but never explain what happens.” If that does happen, can I get in on the action?



.::SPECIAL FEATURES::.

Other than some trailers, there’s zilch to be found.



.::AUDIO & VIDEO::.

As a straight-to-DVD flick, I don’t expect much in terms of video quality, and as such, found that to be a rather true statement. Color-wise it’s slightly off, as though characters appear pale and then tan in various scenes, and then the color palette is washed out as well throughout the flick. On the contrast side of things, well, it’s not much better. There aren’t any issues with black levels that I could find, but something about this movie just didn’t “look” right if you know what I mean. There’s not much of value here that’s good, so I’ll stop now.

This is a complete disaster. The audio levels go from being somewhat mellow to drowned out and struggling to hear them. About twenty-thirty minutes into the movie I could barely hear a thing and had to crank up the volume to way too high levels, and then I still could barely hear audio. There’s fairly little surround sound usage, if any, for the duration as even for an action and horror flick there’s nothing here to talk about. I can’t really think of anything to talk about that’s positive about this 5.1 Dolby Digital track, except for the fact that it’s a pretty short flick.



.::OVERALL::.

Even if I was on an island, stranded, and only had this movie to watch, I wouldn’t. If you told me watching this movie would give me the meaning to life, I’d still pass. Do I need to go on with the clichés? Pass.