The Love Guru (2008) - Special Edition [Blu-ray]

Genre(s): Comedy
Paramount || PG13 - 86 minutes - $39.99 || September 16, 2008
Reviewer: Brad Lowenberg || Posted On: 2008-09-24


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.:: F I L M ::.
The Film

S P E C I A L
.: F E A T U R E S :.

Special Features

.:: V I D E O ::.
Video

.:: A U D I O ::.
Audio

.:: O V E R A L L ::.
Overall
.::MOVIE INFORMATION::.
Director: Marco Schnabel
Writer(s): Mike Myers & Graham Gordy (written by)
Cast: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Romany Malco, Meagan Goode, Vern Troyer, Ben Kingsley


Theatrical Release Date: June 20, 2008


.::DVD INFORMATION::.
Supplemental Material:
  • Mike Myers and The Love Guru
  • One Hella Elephant
  • Hockey Training for Actors
  • Deleted and Extended Scenes
  • Bloopers
  • Back in the Booth with Trent and Jay
  • Outtakes & More
  • Theatrical Trailer


Technical Information:
  • Number of Discs: 1
  • Widescreen (2.35)
  • English (Dolby TrueHD 5.1), French (Dolby Digital 5.1), Spanish (Dolby Digital 5.1)
  • Subtitles: English, French, Spanish

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.::THE FILM::.

The Love Guru bombed in theaters...and rightfully so.

What is this film about? Well Jane Bullard (Alba) manages a Canadian hockey team and when the best player Darren Roanoke (Malco) leaves his wife for another woman...he falls apart. Darren soon finds out his wife is sleeping with the other teams goalie Jacques (Justin Timberlake) and he gets a case of the shakes... literally. Unable to cure his shakes, Jane seeks help from "The Love Guru" Guru Pitka (Myers) out in Los Angeles.

After meeting with him, Jane convinces Guru Pitka to come to Canada and help Darren get over his fears and win his wife back by going through several 'steps'. And... you know what, I'm done. This film was absolute crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Why Mike Myers, after several years of not doing any live-action films (Cat in the Cat was his last) would ever star is this film is beyond me... oh, wait, now I see why, HE WROTE IT!

Yeah, he wrote this piece of crap and somehow sold the idea to Paramount because, as we all know, Austin Powers became a huge franchise for Newline and of course The Love Guru would be as well. Well, they were wrong. According to IMDB, the budget for the film was an amazing $62 MILLION dollars and after the very short theatrical run, only recovered $32 million... not to mention the heavy advertising the film went through either. So, 3 months later, they dump it on DVD and Blu-ray to help make up some of their loss.

Is the film as bad I say it is? YES. It somehow managed to get a few small chuckles out of me, but most of the time I sat watching the film (while my girlfriend fell asleep...just like she did during Meet the Spartans) wondering how long I would have to suffer until the conclusion. The good thing here is that the film runs an embarrassing short 86 minutes...which means the characters go through such a huge range of emotions quickly (one moment Jessica Alba is pissed at Guru and literally 45 seconds later, in a different scene, she falls in love with him, huh?) that you have to wonder how much the film was cut to make it somewhat watchable.

Letís go over a few of the scenes shall we? At one point we see a young Guru Pitka meeting his Master... who is cross eyed. Well, instead of having a child actor that kind of looks like Mike Myers, they decide to use some really bad CGI instead and paste a human Mike Myers head on a little kids body. Then, we get to see the Master poor tea through his nose into a cup...and then a great glimpse of a nose hair and booger. What's next? How about, in the interest of delaying the final hockey game a few minutes, we get to see to Elephants going at it. Yeah, good writing their Myers. How about pissing into a jug, dipping a mop in it, and fighting? Oh man, give this guy some money!

I won't even go into how much money Verne Troyer was paid to be in this movie... just so it could bring back that Austin Powers and Mini-Me 'feel' to it... ugh. Do yourself a favor, skip this movie, forget it never existed, and just pray that instead of writing a sequel Myers sticks to Shrek 4: Shrek in Space instead. God, even that sounds like a plausible sequel... Paramount, you owe me some money if you steal my idea.



.::SPECIAL FEATURES::.

All Special Features are presented in HD.

Mike Myers and the Love Guru: An Inside Look (9:35) - You're typical "this is such a great film and INSERT NAME was soooooo awesome!"

One Hellava Elephant (5:44) - Probably the best extra on the disc, shows how the puppet elephant was made.

Hockey Training For Actors (8:03) - Yawn. A little bit of training on showing Romany how to play the game and "act" like a real hockey player.

Deleted And Extended Scenes (13:46) - Why would you want to watch these? Really. Don't do it. Please.

Back In The Booth With Trent And Jay (5:08) - I looooove Stephen Colbert... but even this was a very plain extra.

Digital Copy - For those that like to torture themselves a Digital Copy is available and compatible with both PC and Macs. Oh joy.

Also included is some Outtakes (10:14), Bloopers (3:48) and a theatrical trailer (2:31). An hour worth of special features... wow.



.::AUDIO & VIDEO::.

The Love Guru is presented in 2.35:1 (AVC/MPEG-4) on a 50GB disc. While the movie is absolute crap, the picture quality is stunning. With the very vivid world in Love Guru, colors shine through and produce an excellent 'pop'. Flesh tones look perfect and small things (hockey pucks, some of the Guru's 'TM' words of wisdom) look amazing. The movie may have bombed... but the picture quality is amazing.

Paramount has included an English Dolby 5.1 TrueHD track. Picture quality may be great...but audio is a different story. Besides the few songs Guru Pitka belches out, the TrueHD track is very flat and boring. At times, I wondered if I had mistakenly selected some hidden Dolby Digital 5.1 track... but no, it was in fact TrueHD. The main problem is many times I felt like I should be hearing something in the background (crowd, elephants etc.) and it was just empty. Dialog was also a bit uneven with the volume fluctuating every once and a while.



.::OVERALL::.

What do you want me to say here? Run out and buy this? No, instead I will simply say unless you a death wish you should never watch this film. I mean, it has Kanye West and Jessica Simpson in it! Those two evils should never be together.