Miss March (2009) - Unrated Fully Exposed Edition [Blu-ray]

Genre(s): Comedy
Fox || Unrated - 89 minutes - $39.99 || July 28, 2009
Reviewer: Brad Lowenberg || Posted On: 2009-08-02


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.:: F I L M ::.
The Film

S P E C I A L
.: F E A T U R E S :.

Special Features

.:: V I D E O ::.
Video

.:: A U D I O ::.
Audio

B L U - R A Y
.:: EXCLUSIVES ::.

Blu-ray Exclusives

.:: O V E R A L L ::.
Overall
.::MOVIE INFORMATION::.
Director: Zach Cregger, Trevor Moore
Writer(s): Dennis Haggerty & Ryan Homchick & Thomas Mimms (story), Zach Cregger & Trevor Moore (screenplay)
Cast: Zach Cregger, Trevor Moore, Raquel Alessi


Theatrical Release Date: March 13, 2009


.::DVD INFORMATION::.
Supplemental Material:
  • Viral Videos
  • Digital Copy


Technical Information:
  • Number of Discs: 1
  • Widescreen (1.85)
  • English (DTS-HD MA 5.1)
  • Subtitles: English SDH, French, Spanish

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.::THE FILM::.

I don't know how many times I subject myself to these stupid films... but I do so over and over. For some odd reason I really thought this movie might be good. I had the same feeling with The Girl Next Door (similar artwork) and was pleasantly surprised. However this film is just total and complete shit. The plot, the characters, and the zany stupid things they get themselves into... what the hell is this?

Plot: A young man awakens from a four-year coma to hear that his once virginal high-school sweetheart has since become a centerfold in one of the world's most famous men's magazines. He and his sex-crazed best friend decide to take a cross-country road trip in order to crash a party at the magazine's legendary mansion headquarters and win back the girl.

Two things really bugged me during the film. The first is that, thanks to Tropic Thunder, the word 'retarded' can no longer be used in the film. Something must have scared Fox because several times the word 'retarded' has been replaced by 'crack head'. It's very, very obvious because the lips don't match what's happening on-screen.

The second is the fact during the opening we see a young Eugene using a GBA SP (NES Edition). Now, that came out in 2004... but why is that important? Because the next scene says "10 Years Later" followed by another 4 year jump after the retard hit his head. That means, technically, the film takes place in 2018... if we believe he bought the GBA SP the same day it came out. It's a silly thing to make a big deal about, but its like doing a period piece set in the 80's and having them use iPhones.

So many things just make this film total and utter crap. Let's start with the basic storyline - why would Eugene travel many miles, across many states to see his apparent girlfriend? Why not, ya know, call her? Sure, the excuse is he does not have her number, but he knows how to use a computer and Google, right? It IS apparently 2018 and he can't be that retarded.

There is no substance in this film - not as a story driven film or a comedy - it's just not funny! It only managed to irk out a few chuckles from me here and there but ultimately its easy to see why this thing bombed out of theaters.



.::SPECIAL FEATURES::.

Since the film flopped, I'm not shocked to see barely an extras present. Six Viral videos are included (“Timmy's Audition”, “Darren's Audition”, “Sam's Audition”, “Lesbian Audition”, “Sound Design” and “Down and Dirty with a Horsedick”). A total of about 13 minutes minutes of additional crap. As an added bonus a Digital Copy of the Theatrical Cut (** Blu-ray Exclusive **) is included as well.

Three of the "Viral" videos along with an Uncensored Horsedick Video are ** Blu-ray Exclusive ** as well. Yep, half the features which account for about 6 minutes of footage.



.::AUDIO & VIDEO::.

Miss March is presented in 1.85:1 on a 25GB Disc. Fox has shown little love for the film which was essentially dumped on Blu-ray. Noisy grain is present almost the entire film and the color levels tend to fluctuate a bit from scene to scene. One of the worst transfers I have seen for a theatrical film in a while.

Fox has included an English 5.1 DTS MA Track that is just as bad as the video. Rears are seldom used and the dialog goes up and down in volume. I had to make sure I was listening to Lossless and not DD2.0.



.::OVERALL::.

This film is a piece of crap. There - I said it. With poor picture and audio Quality and 13 minutes of extras this one is destined for a life in the Wal-Mart bargain bins next to Without a Paddle 2 and Virgin Territory.