My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009) [Blu-ray]

Genre(s): Horror
Lions Gate || R - 101 minutes - $39.99 || May 19, 2009
Reviewer: Brad Lowenberg || Posted On: 2009-05-27


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.:: F I L M ::.
The Film

S P E C I A L
.: F E A T U R E S :.

Special Features

.:: V I D E O ::.
Video

.:: A U D I O ::.
Audio

B L U - R A Y
.:: EXCLUSIVES ::.

Blu-ray Exclusives

.:: O V E R A L L ::.
Overall
.::MOVIE INFORMATION::.
Director: Patrick Lussier
Writer(s): Todd Farmer and Zane Smith (screenplay)
Cast: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith


Theatrical Release Date: January 16, 2009


.::DVD INFORMATION::.
Supplemental Material:
  • Feature Commentary
  • 2 Featurettes
  • Deleted Scenes
  • Gag Reel
  • Theatrical Trailer
  • Digital Copy


Technical Information:
  • Number of Discs: 2
  • Widescreen (1.85)
  • English (DTS-HD MA 7.1)
  • Subtitles: English

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.::THE FILM::.

Remakes, or "re imagining" films can sometimes be a good thing. I always like to point to Dawn of the Dead (2004) as one that was not only successful at the box office, but was actually a decent film that took small bits from the original and re purposed them. My Bloody Valentine 3D is not that.

Plot: Tom returns to his hometown on the tenth anniversary of the Valentine's night massacre that claimed the lives of 22 people. Instead of a homecoming, however, Tom finds himself suspected of committing the murders, and it seems like his old flame is the only one will believes he's innocent.

After sitting through 90 minutes of the film I am left wondering what the hell I just watched. First up we have a killer with no motive - the film just starts with some teens get killed inside of a mine. I literally stopped the movie, took it out and put it back in because I thought my player had magically skipped ahead to the 70 minute mark. Alas, it had not, it was actually the start of the film (you would never know it because no back story is ever given).

What next on the list? How about the deaths that were all almost identical? Sure, a mining pick is a really cool item to kill people with, but the whole 'got you down on the floor, point the pick at the victim, strike a pose (literally), right through the [insert limb]' gets old very, very fast. Couldn't they have been a bit more creative?

And finally (I could go on for several paragraphs) would be the over-acting. Look, I like Kerr Smith and thought he did a great job on "Dawson's Creek" but he just acts like a pompous prick the entire film so at the end you really don't care if he is the killer or not because he's just a dirt bag who screams in every scene.



.::SPECIAL FEATURES::.

All Special Features Presented in HD.

Commentary with Director Patrick Lussier, Todd Farmer

Deep Inside My Bloody Valentine (7 Minutes) & Sex Blood and Tears (5 Minutes) -- Both of these are literally fluffy EPKs that serve up little to no information.

Rounding out the disc is a handful of Deleted Scenes (18 Minutes, SD), a laughable Alternate Ending (1 Minute), Gag Reel (90 minutes - oh, wait, not the film, an actual Gag Reel), Theatrical Trailer and of course a Digital Copy.

Yet another disc that, at first look, may seem like itís packed but when you get down to it there are only a handful of features and all run short.



.::AUDIO & VIDEO::.

My Bloody Valentine 3D is presented in 1.85:1 (MPEG4) on a 50GB Disc. Both the 2D and 3D version are on the same disc. As with most 3D films I watched the first ten minutes (the opening title sequence rocks) and turned it off as it gave me a pounding headache. The 2D version looks really nice with blacks properly leveled and the grain still intact.

Lionsgate has once again upped the ante by providing an English 7.1 DTS MA track. Given this is a slasher flick and the 3D gimmick has been introduced, expect random loud noises in the rear speakers to spook you. Dialog comes through fine.



.::OVERALL::.

My Bloody Valentine 3D is a lackluster remake which only has one purpose - to sell ticket because itís in 3D. The plot sucks, the characters suck and the script is all over the place. Skip it. Let it die.