Skeleton Crew (2009)

Genre(s): Horror
Anchor Bay || R - 92 minutes - $26.97 || July 21, 2009
Reviewer: Brian Oliver || Posted On: 2009-07-18

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.:: F I L M ::.
The Film

.: F E A T U R E S :.

Special Features

.:: V I D E O ::.

.:: A U D I O ::.

.:: O V E R A L L ::.
Director: Tommi Lepola & Tero Molin
Writer(s): Tommi Lepola & Tero Molin (written by)
Cast: Rita Suomalainen, Steve Porter

Supplemental Material:

Technical Information:
  • Number of Discs: 1
  • Widescreen (2.35)
  • English (Dolby Digital 5.1), English (Dolby Digital 2.0)
  • Subtitles: English SDH

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.::THE FILM::.

“This is like a bad movie.”

“Whoever wrote this script should have his ass removed.”

No, those are not my remarks, but actual lines from the latest foreign, el cheapo horror movie, Skeleton Crew. It seems even they knew this movie was crap... and gleefully swam in it.

The basic premise is an indie film crew is on location in Finland at an old, closed down mental hospital filming a horror movie based on actual events that took place back in the 1970s. The crew is underpaid and the actors are terrible... and then there’s the movie itself. (*ZING*). Anyway, after about 20 minutes of a false movie within a movie sequence (*yawn*), the crew, knowing they’re in a POS movie (maybe for real as well?), just want to get from one scene to the next while the director thinks this is going to some kind of horror masterpiece (a la Hostel and Saw).

After exploring the creepy basement, they stumble upon a secret room that contains brutal snuff films, the same ones rumored to be in existence and what the film they’re shooting is based upon! Oh my! Although most of them are mortified by the 8mm films, the director is infatuated and soon goes nuts and starts picking them apart one by one in unique fashion. At this point, I would normally put a massive spoiler warning, but f*** it, it’s just too funny and ridiculous: after running from their deranged director, they manage to get inside the attic that was previously locked. Inside this room is film footage showing... them being inside a horror movie! So, this is a movie within a movie within another movie. Got it? Brilliant. Now they not only rip off, in not so subtle fashion, Saw, Hostel and House on Haunted Hill, but apparently Scream as well by poking fun at other horror movies.

Bottom line, Skeleton Crew is a bad movie. Period. I don’t know if the performances were meant to be awful or if they were trying to portray playing bad actors in a low budget bad movie (follow all of that?), either way, it was a struggle to even keep watching as the plot takes ludicrous twists and turns after another, and this was after a very ho-hum, borderline boring first act. This film has all the earmarks of a poorly executed student film and if it weren’t for the somewhat interesting (and I say the generously) performance of the “lead” actress, Rita Suomalainen, it would’ve been a complete waste; otherwise it’s only a minor waste. Not saying Ms. Suomalainen the next Neve Campbell (for what that’s were nowadays), but she is cute and stands out from the rest... for whatever that’s worth.

Whether or not the movie tries to be a send-up of other horror movies or what, I don’t care. It’s not very scary, it’s borderline boring and the performances are mostly horrid. I know one shouldn’t expect much from a low-budget, foreign horror movie such as this, but even by my lowered standards, Skeleton Crew still managed to sink even further.


Other than some previews, there are no features. Crisis averted.


Both the audio and video are standard fare, but perfectly acceptable given the source material. The video is presented with an anamorphic widescreen transfer (2.35 aspect ratio) and the audio comes equipped with a Dolby Digital 5.1 track (along with Dolby 2.0).


One of the taglines for Skeleton Crew proclaims “There’s No Sequel for You”. Thank goodness, last thing we need is another one.