Spring Breakdown (2009)

Genre(s): Comedy
Warner Premiere || R - 84 minutes - $27.98 || June 2, 2009
Reviewer: Tyler Thomas || Posted On: 2009-06-15


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.:: F I L M ::.
The Film

S P E C I A L
.: F E A T U R E S :.

Special Features

.:: V I D E O ::.
Video

.:: A U D I O ::.
Audio

.:: O V E R A L L ::.
Overall
.::MOVIE INFORMATION::.
Director: Ryan Shiraki
Writer(s): Ryan Shiraki & Rachel Dratch (story), Ryan Shiraki (screenplay)
Cast: Amy Poehler, Parker Posey, Rachel Dratch, Amber Tamblyn, Jane Lynch


.::DVD INFORMATION::.
Supplemental Material:
  • Feature Commentary
  • Deleted Scenes
  • Gag Reel
  • Digital Copy


Technical Information:
  • Number of Discs: 1
  • Widescreen (1.85)
  • English (Dolby Digital 5.1), French (Dolby Digital 5.1)
  • Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish, French

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.::THE FILM::.

It takes a lot for me to hate a film. I know it doesnít seem like it, as though I tend to rate movies really crappy that others find entertaining. But to me, putting in some actresses I like, such as Amber Tamblyn, Amy Poehler, Jane Lynch, and Parker Posey into the same movie has got to make it a hit, right? Spring Breakdown is such a mess that I almost thought I was going to have a breakdown after watching it.

Gayle (Amy Poehler), Becky (Parker Posey), and Judi (Rachel Dratch) have been best friends since childhood. Theyíve also been complete losers at life (their words, not mine) since high school, as they were mocked off the stage at the talent show and their lives didnít turn out much better. Becky works for Senator Hartmann (Jane Lynch), and is given an assignment to watch Ashley (Amber Tamblyn, the senatorís daughter, who is going off on spring break. Sheís going on spring break for a spring breakdown! Hilarious, I know. Becky gets to go where Ashleyís at to make sure she behaves, as Hartmann is in the bid for the presidency and canít afford any negative publicity. Iím sure you can guess where this is going already.

Becky heads back to her place to find out that Judi and her husband William (Seth Meyers) broke up as she found out he was gay. She came home early one day to find William and one of her yard work helpers together in a chair. Gayle doesnít seem to do much either job-wise, so the three girls decide to go together for some great fun in the sun. The trio head down to find Ashley at a bar, but Ashley isnít exactly a party animal herself. Sheís down there just to pursue her boyfriend, who just broke up with her for not being wild enough. Another fifty or so minutes go by, some sort of action involving a wet T-shirt contest gets Ashley and the trio in trouble, somehow Gayle becomes really popular with the teenagers, Judi reconciles sort of with her estranged husband, and a few other stupid and pointless plot twists get thrown in for terrible measure.

I honestly thought that this movie isnít even good enough for television viewing at three in the morning. It is awful beyond comparison, in fact I canít think of a movie that is as bad as this one at the moment. The only reason this had to be made was to bank off of the big star, Poehler, in hopes that her loyal fanbase would help sell a bunch of copies. Iím here to say that this movie didnít make me laugh once, I didnít even come close to a snicker. The two people who watched this flick with me also felt the same way, but luckily they left part way through and didnít have to endure the rest like I did.

You may be thinking, so Tyler, why give it half a star instead of a flat out goose egg? Well, Amber Tamblyn is gorgeous and deserves more. I loved her in that television show she had a few years ago that got canceled. She is a great actress, but her getting involved in this along with Poehler is a crying shame. This movie has a horrible plot, the characters arenít even developed, and the ending is so ridiculously overacted and pointless that I had to resist turning it off just to see how it finished. Awful, dreadful, and insert other words that mean terrible here. Sorry, I canít find my thesaurus right now.



.::SPECIAL FEATURES::.

Commentary by Ryan Shiraki and Rachel Dratch: This is a rather ho-hum commentary, as the duo talks about the location of some of the shots and praises the cast in other parts. Itís not funny nor is it entertaining, so unless you just have to, Iíd recommend skipping it. Dratch nearly put me to sleep as I listened to this one.

Additional Scenes (3 minutes): These are just as not funny as the movie itself is, if thatís even possible.

Gag Reel (2 minutes): The cast screws up lines while filming the movie. I usually find these entertaining, but this one, not at all.

A Digital Copy is also available, but itís not compatible with IPods.



.::AUDIO & VIDEO::.

Detail is fairly low-key in this release, as the color palette doesnít seem existent and flesh tones look improper. The contrast is also off in this one, as the movie is too bright when it shouldnít be, and the exact opposite holds true for when the movie should be darker than it is. The club scenes look downright awful, as do most of the outside shots. The film was shot in a beautiful location, but you honestly wouldnít know it from watching the flick. Incredibly disappointed with the video on this one, but I didnít go in expecting too much.

The Dolby Digital 5.1 track is also a letdown, as even for a comedy film this one pales in comparison to past releases. Surround usage is at best non-existent; as I donít even remember (even in the club scenes) surround use being used at all. Everything pretty much came out of the front channel, and it sounded awful. Dialogue was low, inconsistent, and I didnít really care as the dialogue to the movie itself was awful. This is a terrible Dolby Digital track, as I honestly had to check periodically throughout the movie to see if it was indeed a 5.1. I thought it was a mono track the way it was sounding.



.::OVERALL::.

I love Poehlerís new show, Tamblyn is an underrated actress who I hope hits it bigger than she already is in Hollywood, and the rest of the cast deserves better. This is one spring break to not take, as studying for exams or anything else boring along those lines is much more entertaining than watching this so-called movie. Pass.